Cancer 53

What is happiness? Many people have tried to define it over the years. It is very difficult because happiness means different things to different people. I had better deal with this because it has been suggested that a few of my recent posts have been a little negative. I suspect this is more to do with my fears regarding the start of my chemotherapy (tomorrow) rather than any kind of accurate reflection of my general mood.

There is a problem with most of the literature around dealing with cancer. I have been given thousands of booklets and leaflets, and connected to thousands of websites. The common theme in them is how to cope with the anxiety and depression associated with having cancer. But I am not anxious (unduly – I get anxious when I am going to be prodded and poked and generally messed around with. I have had enough of it), and I am certainly not depressed. I almost look forward to enforced sitting while undergoing chemo as it will ensure I have time to read and write (I am slowly working on my novel. I don’t mention it much because the emphasis is on the word slowly), and no one will be suggesting I should do otherwise. My biggest fear for the hospital element of chemo is that I will be sitting next to a smelly smoker (yes, you do smell even when not smoking) or the TV will be on.

Back to happiness. I think I am happy. Going back to points made before I have had what I think is a pretty good life. I don’t believe that a person needs to experience the spectacular to be happy, contented, and fulfilled. There was someone on the radio coming back from the hospital today talking about going across Antarctica, Greenland, having various world records and so on, suggesting implicitly that without such experiences a person cannot be fulfilled. Nonsense. Epicurean philosophy proposes – I believe rightly – that we can be content with the simple things in life. Epicurus suggests that we need three elements to achieve happiness; friends, freedom and an analysed life. I have all three of these, or at least I perceive I do, which is the main thing.

Brendan Kelly from Trinity College, Dublin, has recently suggested there are a number of strategies for happiness. These include:

• create a regular routine
• Build movement into your day
• Practise meditation
• Take time out for lunch
• Mix with happy people
• Eat with others
• Read before bed

I wouldn’t call this a comprehensive list. It doesn’t include specifically relating to family and friends, achieving anything important to you, having satisfaction in work and leisure, and so on, but it is a good start. How do I feel about these strategies?

Create a regular routine. I have never been convinced by this. Apart from getting up reasonably early and (nowadays) going to bed early I like to break with routine. Where I do agree is that life is not about being spontaneous all the time. That would be very tiring and boring.

Build movement. This is an obvious one. Going for a walk or doing the gardening (I don’t do much of either at the moment) is satisfying. Going for a walk can resolve all manner of problems and provides opportunities to admire nature (I am assuming walks in the countryside). Sport is very enjoyable (again not for me now), though I remain unconvinced by the utility of the gym.

Practise meditation. Just no.

Take time out for lunch. Always.

Mix with happy people. I think I do this generally. It is also a two way process. If I am happy then the people I interact with are more likely to be happy and vice versa. Happiness is in the relationship.

Eat with others. Yes, or eat alone. Just eat. Perhaps that is part of my problem.

Read before bed. You mean there are people who don’t?

Brendan Kelly has written a book about this. Perhaps I should write a book about being happy with your cancer. It would sell millions as there is an ever-renewable population. I think I am happy. I still find satisfaction in most of what I do. While it is frustrating not to be able to do things, and I am now going to be living to a strict regime (routine?) underlying it all is a general sense of happiness and satisfaction with life. While I should not compare myself to others I inevitably do so and there are some miserable buggers around who have not had a happy life (by their own definitions). Fortunately most people seem to be reasonably happy and I am one of them.

Epicurian