Cancer 89

It has been a somewhat rough few days and still is. After my chemo on Tuesday I felt awful, but better the following day. There is a build-up of the niggling things. My stoma is sore and has leaked a couple of times, which is a little embarrassing. I have felt nauseous, which is unusual for me, though it hasn’t yet stopped me from eating! I think appetite will be the last thing to go. My rash is nothing like as bad as it was but it is still there, on my head and across my chest. The area around my PICC line is very sore, and I can’t stop scratching it. I know, just stop it, but it isn’t easy. I have also started to have problems with my fingertips. This is a standard side effect, but the tips feel very sore, and the skin is breaking. It makes it difficult to peel an orange, and some of my fingerprint-controlled apps on my phone don’t work, presumably because my fingerprints have changed. The strange effects of cancer treatment! Who would have guessed that cancer can lead to an inability to open a bank account app?

I have a CT scan later today to check how my innards are after another half dozen treatments. This means I cannot eat for four hours beforehand, but I am meant to drink a pint of squash a little before so that I have a full bladder. I always have a full bladder. I assume it is due to ridding my body of all these breakdown products. Anyway, it means yet another trip to the hospital.

Chemotherapy treatment costs vary, but a round can be around £30,000. I am coming to the end of my second round (13 cycles or treatments) so I have cost perhaps £60,000 plus my operation, several weeks in hospital and so on. Am I worth it? Is this the best way of spending money on the NHS or should more focus be placed on those who might actually be cured? After all, I am not going back to work. What is my value as a member of society? OK, don’t all shout at once about what an upright and respected person I have been throughout my life and how I now should be rewarded in my twilight months/years for the good I have done for the world.

I do wonder though about NHS resources. There obviously isn’t enough money to pay for everything that could be done for people, but we don’t have any national debates about what we should be focusing on. I am not convinced that we should be keeping dying people alive, but on the other hand, it should not all be about economics, focusing on those who can get well enough to return to their jobs and pay their taxes. There may be procedures the state should not be involved in, but equally, there are also elements that should be NHS funded but are not, such as much of dentistry and eye care.

There is overall quality of life to consider. Given the circumstances, I have a good quality of life, despite what I said earlier.

I love the NHS, it does wonders, but we should have a national debate about what it should be doing, at least partly because drugs and equipment are now so expensive, and the drivers are often the pharmaceutical companies trying to sell their latest offerings rather than scientists, medics, philosophers and others trying to determine the most effective use of the resources we have. Of course, if the rich and big businesses paid the taxes they are supposed to pay then it would ease the pressure considerably. I know, not going to happen.