Cancer 242

It is 0420. I have been sitting in my chair since about 2000, alternately sleeping, dozing and, occasionally, waking. I am usually woken by the sound of my book thudding on the floor as I drift off (Baltic: The Future of Europe by Oliver Moody, as you are asking). I am immensely tired. It is a tiredness that almost hurts, a tiredness so intense it is difficult to escape.

I am wanting to sleep day and night, yet at the same time find it difficult. During the day if I sit down I am likely to fall asleep. It doesn’t matter what time of day. In the morning I drift off, in the evening I drift off.

I can be ok during the day if I am out doing something. Yesterday, a good friend from far away visited, and we did bookshop and meal. I was fine for that, but when we got home it was a different matter. I was quickly asleep.

The added problem at night is that I have breathing problems when I lie down. My abdomen area is quite painful, and the tumour growth too much. I suspect it is tumours bearing down on my diaphragm which makes it difficult to breathe while I am lying down. This means the most comfortable position for me is sitting in my chair. This is where I ‘sleep’. What I actually do is doze for periods, then sleep for I don;t know how long, and then sit up and read. This last is getting difficult now, an dI mean now. At this moment I am struggling to stay awake, my arms ache, my eyes are glazing over, I had better put this down.