Cancer 208
Posted on September 17, 2025 Leave a Comment
So, I spent the night throwing up again the day after my chemo stopped. that is two successive treatments. The question is whether I am starting to respond negatively to the chemo. It looks that way, except I did eat rich food two days running and had the worst (longest) journey to Devon on the Friday – most of the way without a break due to traffic. Next time I will keep to the simple foods and see whether I have a similar response.
The other problem I have is constant pain from my stoma and the friendly ulcerated tumour sitting next to it, still changing shape presumably due to that awful radiotherapy. While I try and bodge the stoma bag so the ooze from my stoma does not smear all over the open sore, it generally doesn’t work, so I walk around stooped like an old man in fear of something or someone barging into me and causing utter agony. I sometimes walk with a stick as a form of self-defence. It does stop me going to crowded places, such as cities, or a bus. What a shame!
I am a little averse to taking more painkillers. First, I don’t like painkillers, never have. Pain is for putting up with as it has a purpose, though that sounds like I am some religious zealot wrapping barbed wire round my thigh and pulling it tight. Yes, I watch that kind of film. Second, I hear rumours that the rules regarding drugs and driving may become more strict. I am already regularly taking morphine and that is one of the drugs that may – rightly – restrict driving. At the moment I would rather have pain than be banned from driving. I won’t say driving is my only pleasure, but it is an important one. Perhaps soon I will be driving around screaming in agony, crashing every 5 minutes because I won’t take the morphine. Hmm, have to think about that.
I am still hoping to get a treatment break, perhaps after the next round of chemo. We were planning Bavaria, but I am getting a little nervous about being away from my beloved NHS so we might end up in The Netherlands (ie close to the ferry home) or perhaps stay in the UK and go to Scotland. There is plenty to see in the UK, and we do have one of the best cuisines in the world.
There I go, start with puking and finish on eating. I just don’t learn.
Cancer 207
Posted on September 9, 2025 Leave a Comment
I have nothing to say, but I am sitting in hospital undergoing chemotherapy getting bored, so I thought I could bore you in turn. This is my 42nd round of chemo. According to Douglas Adams this is the answer to life, the universe and everything, so perhaps I will go home today cured of this vile disease. Or then again, The Hitchhiker’s Guide was fiction….
I brought foie gras sandwiches to the hospital today, and very nice they were too. I had them along with cheese sandwiches, chicken soup, tinned mandarins, a chocolate flapjack, raspberry yoghurt, orange juice and lots of tea. Get the food in before I start feeling ill, though I feel ill now and I still have two drugs to go, along with the bottle to be attached.
Break – I am now on the last set of drugs and starting to feel a little queasy in the head. This is normal. It is the start of the rest of the day. These last drugs are being pumped in more rapidly than normal. Apparently there is a change in policy which means those of us who do not have negative reactions can be dealt with more quickly. I am asked if I am OK. I mustn’t show any negative reactions or the drug will go back to a longer input.
I have done a little work towards the projected MA, reading about women 1500-1700. It wasn’t particularly informative, though I might see whether English Heritage have any archival information about Margaret Cavendish. Yesterday we went to Chatsworth. I really want to spend time in the library there. I wonder if they have anything on Alethia Howard? After all, Bess of Hardwick was her grandmother.
This queasiness is nothing to do with the foie gras sandwiches, is it?
Cancer 206
Posted on September 6, 2025 Leave a Comment
I have been ill. A week ago I spent 24 hours throwing up and having stoma problems. Throwing up is not good when you have an abdomenal hernia that feels like it s going to explode every time you retch. Neither is it particularly pleasant emptying a stoma just after the contents of your stomach decided to plaster the bathroom. I think it was the first time I had thrown up since the nasty time while in hospital after my surgery, where I really did powerful retching that plastered the walls and people of the CT scan waiting room.
Recovery was quite slow. I think it was one of those 24 hour bug/food poisoning experiences, but it took me several days to recover – thanks immune system. It left me weak and unable to drink tea. Thankfully my eating and drinking systems are now fully restored. I started with a simple fried halloumi and egg sandwich, and then did an over-a-mile walk around Castleton, following by ham, egg and chips and a good third of the wife’s pork and gravy cob. In the evening we went to Cromford and sat by the pond eating fish, chips and mushy peas. At home I finished with fruit and yoghurt. That looks like a health food sandwich to me.
Did you notice? I went for a walk. I have been too wealk and pathetic to go for a walk recently. Halfway through I was thinking about extending it but by the time I was at the end I just wanted to sit down and not walk any further. I did feel that if I walked more I might get a llittle fitter so I am going to work on it. Perhaps walk every other day to give my hopeless body time to recover.
My blood results are ok. Some measures are outside the normal range but that is to be expected. The cancer marker is slightly down. I have been clear for treatment next week. Number 42, the answer to life, the universe and everything. Perhaps I will get a miracle and be cured. Fortunately, I never think like that. I am a rational being, or so I like to think.
I have got an interview for my MA in History. That should be fun. The topic is my thesis (focusing on Alethia Howard and her scientific contribution at a time when early modern science was separating from alchemy, herbal knowledge, and all that). Should be fun. If I get in I have to survive a year to get the thesis finished. I am thinking to finish it more quickly than that. After all, I did my PhD in 3 years part-time. They didn’t want to accept it because it was shorter than the minimum time required for a PhD but they did. I also managed to finish my last book after my cancer operation and while on chemo, so it should be a doddle – unless I die of course, then I won’t finish it. See, I am a rational being.
Cancer 205
Posted on August 26, 2025 Leave a Comment
Here we are again, at hospital to begin round 41, Muhammed Ali wouldn’t have survived this many rounds. The last week has been a hospital week. Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday, Friday, and now Tuesday again. Why Thursday twice? I went for my blood test and forgot the blood form, the holy blood form, without which blood will not be taken. I had to drive home and drive back again with said form. Still it was all over by 0830. It is a good job I like doing these things in the mornings. If it was left to me the hospital staff would start their appointments at 0500 so I could get it over with earlier.
My bloods are again ok, the CT scan shows only minimal growth of tumour, so I can be chemo’ed. I think I have a few flu symptoms, the aching muscles, the tiredness (ok, the increased tiredness – I fell asleep in my chair overnight), the general malaise. Not everything is cancer. It is not a problem, anyway, certainly not compared with the troublesome stoma and its friendly monstrous tumour, which is continually painful. At least it seems to have stopped bleeding after about 6 weeks, or at least is bleeding less. I would show you a photo but it is a bit messy and I think you might prefer to eat again. Think ulcerated tumour, exposed decaying colon, and shit. ~Mix them together and you have me!
I am trying to avoid to much morphine on top of my two daily doses because, as I have said before, I see morphine as the final stage. I also still do not like taking painkillers. Pain exists to tell us something is wrong with the body. Shit argument I know, given that my body is falling apart and taking a few painkillers is hardly going to hurt (sic). I am trying to regularly take paracetamol as well as the morphine but I forget.
I am hoping to take a treatment break after the next one, so we can get away late September-early October. The favoured place at the moment is Bavaria, but if I am not fit to go abroad then perhaps Scotland. We shall see. I am a little nervous about travel at the moment given my condition, but hell, I need a good drive.
I am researchinggat I hope will be my MA in history. If there is anyone out there who doesn’t believe in my feminist nature they are about to be surprised. The focus is on Alethia Howard and the changing nature of science in the early 17th Century. If I don’t do the MA, I think I will still write the article.
I have finished reading Stalingrad, and now reading the follow up, Life and Fate. Both are around 900 pages. If you want to understand something of the Great Patriotic War, and have a bit of spare time, these are the books to read from the Russian perspective.
Reading, study, travel. I would recommend all three to people who are in my condition. They are perhaps as important as medical treatment and social support. I am lucky. I have plenty of all these things. They keep me alive and happy.
Cancer 204
Posted on August 19, 2025 Leave a Comment
I am not looking on the bright side at the moment. The last few days have been painful. It is the stoma, or specifically the end of the colon which is sore. It is difficult when you have a sore bit of the body that is constantly being covered by shit. I try to clean it regularly but it is impossible to keep clean at all times.
I am on a buildup of painkillers. I take zomorph, a slow release morphine, twice a day, and paracetamol when required. It isn’t enough, so I spoke to the GP yesterday and he is subscribing oromorph again, liquid morphine, which I can use more or less at will to control the pain. I am not at the stage yet of just swigging it down but I can feel it coming. It is not that the pain is unbearable like gout, but it is a constant soreness, and it means I try to protect my stomach area from other people – don’t go into crowds, don’t bang it anywhere. Pain grinds you down over time, particularly when you know there is no recovery, that it is just going to get worse. There may be more periods that are painfree, but the general path is downhill.
Adding to this, I am off to the hospital today (three times this week in total) to have my stoma checked, but also to have my bloods checked regarding the thinners that are in place because of the stoma problem. If the tablets I am taking for this are not effective, then I may need to go back to giving myself a daily injection. I am not sure I can do that. I know, it is only an injection, but it may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. When I was doing the injections I was dreading it all day, when I did them they did become painful because I am restricted in which areas of the abdomen I can use – one side is taken up by that sore stoma. The injection is supposed to be in a different place every day. I may be big, but I am not that big!
I have always tried to come across as positive, but there are limits. I do try to go along with medical advice – these people know a lot more than me and I trust them – but I am on 16-27 tablets a day (depending on cycle), along with chemo three days every fortnight, removing my own chemo needle/bottle, a blood test at least every fortnight, regular emptying and changing of the stoma bag, and various other hospital visits, it can become a bit much – again, particularly because there is no hope except perhaps a little more time.
It doesn’t help that I haven’t had much sleep. I have been up most of this night, and the two nights before that. I get intermittent sleep, the odd hour or two, or even five minutes or so, once or twice in the night. It is now 0530. I slept well until after midnight, after which I got up and have been sitting downstairs since then. In half an hour the alarm will go and I need to get ready to go to the hospital to ensure I get there by 0730 so I can get a parking space. At least my two appointments today are 0830 and 0900. I should get away quite quickly.
On the positive side, there has to be a positive side, we have had good BBQs over the weekend, three days running, and we are off out for lunch three times this week. I am still a little bit of a social animal, and I am still useless at restricting my food intake because of my stoma or my cancer. Just don’t punch me in the stoma. Oh, I am also thinking of doing an MA degree.
Dr Nigel Hunt 