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Cancer 219

The endless cycles of cancer. I think I notice changes much more than when I was well. In my state I need to notice what appear to be small changes because they might have massive consequences. This at least partially explains the roller coaster nature of my life. I was driving to have my blood […]

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Cancer 218

Tom Stoppard is dead. I didn’t know he was Czech until the other day. He wrote Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, an absurdist play based on Hamlet that I somehow liken to my two forms of morphine, zoomorph and oromorph. I don’t know which is which, but in an absurdist world it doesn’t really matter. In the […]

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Cancer 217

You know that feeling, that feeling that by definition most of us have never had? I have been getting a bit of that feeling over the last few days. Dying, that it. We usually experience the process of dying from the outside, watching others as they go through the process. I have this rotten feeling […]

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Cancer 215

I sawthe consultant today, well, I saw someone standing in for the consultant. The results were not as bad as I expected them to be. As so often there are positive elements and negative elements. My CT scan showed there was some growth and an MDT meeting agreed that it showed my chemotherapy was not […]

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Cancer 214

It isn’t all looking rosy. I think this period is requiring all I have in keeping that glass half full. This is a period of waiting. I will be seeing the consultant on Friday. I am aware there is going to be a multidiscipplinary meeting to discuss me, and the only reason that needs to […]

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