Cancer 266

As expected, the meeting with the consultant ended with the decision being no more treatment. The prognosis, such as it is, ie it is impossible to be precise about how long I will live, is an average of 5-6 months; so I might last a month, I might last 9 months. Worryingly, I might see another Christmas, but given how I feel, I doubt it.

I started this morning thinking I wouldn’t even get to the hospital today, I felt so bad. I had another stoma bleed last night, and I was sick this morning. It took a great effort to wash and change my clothes.

The mornings are getting more difficult. Apart from the above, I am sleepier than ever and it is an effort to go out, even into the garden. I have more abdomenal pain, quite sharp pain, that isn’t fully controlled by the drugs. I also get aches and pains all over my body, as though it is conking out. My arms don’t work properly. I struggle to lift properly, and my coordination is slipping. I have to make conscious decisions regarding normally automatic processes such as grasping things and picking them up. I have been known to miss my mouth with a mug of tea.

Eating is limited. I have said before about my diet. I do get hungry, but when I eat a little something I can get over full quickly. If I eat too much, like last night’s wife made curry, then I can get all sorts of abdomenal disruption, which is uncomfortable.

Oh well, we will see. I am now mainly under the palliative care consultant, who should look after the pain, and also coordinate what happens to enable me to continue living at home.