Cancer 262

I had a bit of a crisis the other day. My stoma bag was full so I went to empty it. For those who don’t know this involves leaning over the toilet, releasing the bottom of the bag and squeezing outmthe contents that then hopefully flow into the toilet – always flow for me rather than drop out in lumps as I have constant loose bowels in order for the to work at all – recently they have been pale coloured, but this came out very dark, red as I shortly realised. When the bag emptied I cleaned it up and fastened it, but it seemed to still have contents so I opened it up and this time pure blood flowed out, at quite a rate. At this point I think I am going to have to phone either the emergency cancer numnber or 999. Being me, I am reluctant to do either. The wife came to help, and I took the bag off, expecting flows of blood. Fortunately there weren’t any. The blood had stopped flowing. It comes from the join between the bowel and a tumour at the end of the bowel. It has bled before, but not so badly. I didn’t phone anyone.

Yesterday I had a similar problem, but not as bad. The blood really messes up the faeces. On changing it had stopped bleeding so again I didn’t phone,

I am always reluctant to phone the hospital when I have a problem (usually bowel or pain-related) because I don’t want to go into hospital. I know I am probably wrong, and that they can care for me better there, but I am in hospital so much these days that I find it difficult to cope with going in any more than I have to. I have the view that the problem, whatever it is, will go away. It has worked so far.

I am also finding it more difficult to go to the hospital. After the parking there is the long walk and the long waits. Now I can hardly eat anything it is even worse. I want them to come here. I am seeing the palliative care consultant next week so I will bring this up. They just expect the patient to travel if they are physically able to. But it is more than being physically able, there is an aversion to the hospital – and that is not being critical of any of the workers there who are nearly always magnificent, but it is time for you to come to me, not me to you.