Cancer 267

Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse we get the experience of A & E. Before I go any further I must say the staff were brilliant, as they always are at the NHS – it is the patients that are the problem.

Last night I had problems passing water. This has been a problem for a few days but came to a head last night. I felt I was about to explode so I dd something I am supposed to do whenever I feel ill, but have actually only done once in the last three years, I phoned the cancer rapid reaction line. Top tip, don’t phone them at 0230. I explained the situation and they said the only thing I could do was go to A & E. The wife and I set off -me driving myself to A & E as everyone does – and arrived to [name your battle zone]. It was Tuesday night. It is supposed to be quiet on Tuesday night. No it wasn’t. We sat and waited. I was in increasing pain so I managed to jump the queue. My bladder was scanned and it turns out that it wasn’t full, just compressed by tumours. My blood was tested, and I was left on a drip – for ages. To cut a long story short we found out that the waiting time to see the doctor was 14 hours, yes fourteen hours, so we decided to leave. I had found out enough information and my bladder has sort of started to work, so I got detached and we came home – spending most of the day sleeping. That is the short form of the story.

So my bowels and my bladder are both constricted by the tumours. This can only end painfully.

Talkig of ending, I would like people’s views on an idea. As I am now expected to live 5-6 months, give or take a few months (top tip, I think I will last a shorter time rather than a longer time), I thought a sweepstake to make money for cancer research would be in order. I am getting mixed views at the moment, but I thought people pay £20 to predict a date I will die. At the end, the person nearest wins half the pot if they are right or a third if they are nearest. The rest goes to cancer research. The winner is declared at my funeral. What do you think? Some agree, some say they will just give the money to research (which takes all the fun out of it).

I can’t see myself lasting until Christmas. I am getting to the point where I want it over. I don’t have good days any more, though I have good moments. I can do less and less for myself and, whatever they may say, I feel like a burden. I know people will say I shouldn’t think like that I can’t help it, I am a burden. It is also painful, and the more the painkillers are increased, the less my body will function. I had a new experience today. My fingers feel like water. When I pick something up it feels like I am picking it up with water. No, I can’t explain it. I will leave you with that, especially as my watery fingers have had enough typing.